13 Reasons Why….

I’m low key a socially awkward person…

Yes, I am pretty bubbly, and loud like any other Arab and I can be super weird if I’m comfortable around you, but most of it is just a cover up for my awkwardness…and here’s 13 reasons why.

  1. I will be the quietest person if you put me into a room full of strangers- Whenever I attend a meeting, a large event, or even if I go to a party where I know nobody except the birthday girl/boy, I will honestly be that person that stands in the corner phone in hand pretending to be typing really important texts. I am horrible at introducing myself. One time, I was at a meeting and everybody had to state their name and one thing they liked. It came to my turn and I went on saying “Hi my name is Hiba, and I like dolphins..” Who says that?! Everyone awkwardly laughed around me…I could have said any answer in the world and it would have not sounded as stupid as that. Or parties, don’t get me started about parties, I will legitimately stand next to a circle of people and just smile at random things they say so I look like I’m one of them.
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  2. I laugh at everything…and anything- I could have met you for the first time, give it 5 minutes and I will laugh at everything you say or do, purely because I hate meet and greets. Laughing is my solution to everything when I don’t know what to do or say. It’s so bad that one time, I had two horrible customers who were high as a kite, verbally they got more and more violent, and at one point while they’re raging I laughed…yes I laughed in front of them, and it’s not like I did it on purpose, my body just kinda said “no brain, this is a perfectly good situation to laugh” and brain said “wait no you can get killed…too late”
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  3. I over-talk (is that a word?)- I talk more than I have to sometimes, and people think I’m great at conversation, and reality is I’m bullshitting through this conversation more than my 2000 word essay that I should be writing. I’d be like “oh yeah, look at that weather, the weather is good, the weather is great, did you see the weather yesterday? What about the day before that? Yeah I hope the weather is great tomorrow!
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  4. I say more than I actually know- When I’m trying to make conversation with anyone for the first time, I will find one thing they seem passionate about and then act like I know everything about it. So someone would be like “Oh I love his songs, such a classic” and I’d be like “yeah love him, he’s really good, got a really good voice”. Said person will then put me into a shitty trap and they’ll be like “oh yeah you like him too, what’s your favourite song”, and cue cricket sounds now….”ummm, yeah I don’t know many, like one or two, the one on the radio, don’t know what it’s called, but yeah he’s good”. Then it’s awkward all over again, and I need to start from the bottom! Travel is one of my favourite conversation topics, so me thinking I’m smart, I’d ask them where they want to travel to, and they’d be like “yeah I really want to go to Brazil” and I’d be like “OMG, Brazil is so pretty and amazing” and I’ll go on a whole rave about it, because you know google images taught me everything I need to know about Brazil, and they’d  get so excited, they’d be like “omg you’ve been!?” and I would proceed back to awkward stage 1 after forming a connection and say “ohh noo, but my friend(who doesn’t exist) went, she said it was amazing”……cue cricket sounds.
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  5. I can’t say hi to you in public- Okay unless you are my super super close friend from birth, chances are I will let you walk right past me and not come up to you and say hi in a public space. I’d be walking in a shopping centre, and I see someone I know in the same store as me, I will dodge, avoid eye contact, hide behind shelves and do everything remotely possible to avoid striking up conversation. We could be uni mates, work mates, whatever it is, I will stand there and stare at you from a distance, and think “should I? should I not? yeah let’s go, oh no wait what if they don’t want to talk, no screw it I’m gonna go, actually wait they’re a good mate, nope they’re about to leave running after them is weird” I will honestly go on this thinking process for a solid 10 minutes, and I cannot bring myself to do it! Even if you come up to me and say hi, I’d get all flustered and be like “shit, small talk, I cant do small talk” and out loud I’ll be like “hows the kids”, when I know damn well you don’t have kids!
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  6. I am a horrible greeter- I actually will think about it two hours prior before I go anywhere, how am I going to greet every single particular person, should I go with a hug, the one kiss on the cheek or go Arab and do three, or should I just go for a knuckle touch, or should I go with the distant wave. I over think it so much that when it comes to the time, I screw it up, as they lean in for a cheek kiss I’ll go for a full hug, or they’d go for a handshake and I’d go in for a cheek kiss. It’s honestly the most terrifying part of the gathering/party, and whatever happens upon arrival will haunt me for a few days.
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  7. I cannot hold direct eye contact for longer than 5 seconds- I think I’m all confident, and really getting into the conversation, so I maintain eye contact to let the other person you have my full undivided attention. Next thing I know there’s really strong eye contact, cause I feel like I’m staring into their soul and they’re staring into mine, and I panic forget everything I was about to say next, and just start playing around with anything next to me and continuously nodding my head. Longer than 5 seconds and you got me having an internal panic attack.
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  8. I’m a clutz in front of people- I’ll try to be all smooth, picking up stuff off the table, or carrying things, trying to be all tough making it look like I have everything under control, then BAM, I’ve dropped everything, tripped over air and fallen on my butt. I will still get up and act like everything was cool, and it was all meant to happen. I swear I get extra clumsy in front of anyone.
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  9. Forming groups in class shits me- The dreaded words “okay find a partner, someone you don’t know..” OMG, might as well get the defibrillator ready because my heart is about to stop. I will go into awkward stance, with a weird smile, and make awkward eye contact with everyone, hoping that someone will come up to me. The most awkwardest situation is when you make eye contact with the person you want to partner up with and you feel like there’s hope but then they just go to someone else…
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  10. I’m horrible at telling stories- We’d be in a group setting, so I’d start telling a story that I think is interesting, and the moment I notice people are having their own conversation I just go back into my shell and won’t speak for another half hour. Or worse, when everyone is paying attention to me, and I’m on a roll with a story that I don’t even know the direction it’s going in. I finally come to the end of my story, and realise it was super shit and had no point or relevance, but everyone is still looking at me like “is there anything else, is it going anywhere?”, so I need to casually divert the attention to someone else, while I sit there again, back in my shell and just learn not to speak.
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  11. Leaving a party- You want to look cool leaving a party alone, so you want to act like you know everyone and make a smooth exit right?! Yeah well I’ve had many failed attempts at that. Everyone is drunk around me, so half them don’t really notice I’m leaving, and then it just leaves me walking around awkwardly dodging people saying “okay I’m leaving, just letting you know I’m leaving, okay I’m gonna leave now, okay bye”, until that one sober person notices and I walk out with some dignity.
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  12. I can’t stand small talk- Hence why I do everything above…
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  13. I’m horrible at accepting compliments- It could be any setting, I could know you for years, and you dare try to give me a compliment like “I like your hair”, “I like your dress”, “you have nice eyes”, or whatever it is, I will awkwardly giggle, mumble a bunch of things under my breath and change topics immediately. I don’t think people understand how bad I am at this, oh and I need to return the compliment, it’s just socially awkward written on my forehead!
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There you have it, I come off as a really bubbly extrovert, but really, according to a BuzzFeed Quiz actually, I’m “Severely Socially Awkward”.

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I guess we all have a little bit of social awkwardness in us, and that’s cool, just embrace it!

Take the Socially Awkward Quiz here and go flaunt it!

Until then,

 

Keep Smiling 🙂

 

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